Dreft; and Things Just Like It.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Young for my Old

I think I have always been old for my age. When I was a little kid, I saw things that aren't supposed to be part of the formula. I think that I've always had a different perspective for that reason. More mature, at least about things that mattered. And I was never worried about things that weren't that important (although these things were life and death to other kids my age).

So I grew up different. I get that. But now that I'm an adult, I don't think I"m ready for it. Maybe that is why this blog is laced with nothing but my insecurity (both exposed and masked).

So many people are insecure about being themselves to others, insecure about how they look... I'm fine with both of these things (for the most part), but I am insecure about who myself is and what that means to me... This affects my decisions, my prefferences, my life experiences.

I'm not ready to have a career and a husband and a kid. I might be next week, next month, next year, but I am not right now. All of my girlfriends are having kids, my boyfriends are getting serious about thier girlfriends... I just want more time. Why am I so immature now? When did I stop being old for my age and become such a little kid? I really just need more time.

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