Dreft; and Things Just Like It.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Frozen Peaches

Everyone has a "great time" in their life at some point. This is the time that when some one tells a fun or exciting story, you relate back to a particular experience. If you always relate back to the same period of time in your life, then you've just discovered your "great time in life." I'm sorry if you don't have one. I'm even more sorry if right now is not it, or not even close to it.
Take, I don't know, Me for instance. If i could warp back to any p.i.t., I'd be a sophomore in highschool or a freshman in college. Don't make me decide between the two; not possible.
As a sophomore in H.S., I learned what I hated and loved in other people. My time in college, I learned what I hate and love in myself.
No doubt, I was two different people. In highschool I was over-involved. Great ACT scores and complaining about them every second. I was the cheerleader who didn't hang out with the cheerleaders, the girl who wrote for the school newspaper, but only when I felt like it. I was extremely shy, so I joined everything. I guess I figured that if I couldn't make a place for myself, I'd become a part of things where places were already created. My best friend scince third grade decided she was never going to speak to me again, I was busy making out with a guy that one of my other best friends' really cared about. I was in mostly honors classes, but was "the cheerleader" in them (therefore was not considered on the same "smart level" as the rest), and was the "smart one" to the jocks. I joined track just so I could be a three-sport athlete (special recognition at the end of the year) and I joined gymnastics so I could learn how to tumble for varsity cheerleading tryouts. The dork that I am, of course, I broke my toe learning how to do a flip and had to sit out the bulk of track season. I did not get lettered, was not a three-sport athlete, didn't learn how to do the flip, and didn't make varsity cheerleading. A few side notes here: I did make it to one track meet; the very first. I ran hurdles, and had only practiced outdoors with the hurdles staggered. The meet was indoors with the hurdles side-by-side. I didn't jump over one, i was scared. I pushed each down and hopped over it. I was not disqualified because I didn't leave my lane, and I came in third. Also, I made varsity cheerleading the following year and did get my special recognition at the end of the year, but a different award.

As a freshman in college, I lived in the dorms with my only remaining childhood best friend (the only one I hadn't pushed away as a highschool sophomore). Good Ole' Grant South 1021. Now I was the anti-Me. I didn't join anything. Wait, not true. Halfway through the year I took over the floor presidency, but I don't like to think about that. Durring this time, I learned that if my roommate and I hadn't been friends since we were little, we wouldn't have become friends in college. As young adults, we were two very different people. Our core was still the same; we attracted the same type of friends ~ we were the only remainng virgins on the face of the earth that didn't give head to the whole world as compensation, neither of us did any kind of drugs, we didn't smoke cigarettes, we only drank if we knew how we were getting home and were with people we trusted, neither of us would leave the floor without makeup on and our hair done, and we both valued a lot of the same things. We were laid back enough to co-habitate in such a small space without going crazy, and we respected eachothers space.
We were the kind of people that other people would have liked to have as friends. "Good People." Did I mention that we tied and each won the citizenship award in the sixth grade? Problem was, we were too much alike with all that. The things that were diffent were very different. I was still really shy, but I pretended like I wasn't. After all, no one here knew me but her; I could act however I wanted. She was still really shy, period. She got over it. I don't think I ever did. I was always a people-pleaser. She didn't give a rats. She went home on weekends because she missed her family. I didn't go home unless I had to (wasn't that one of the perks of college anyway?). I stayed up until all hours, anyday of the week, just to hang out with whoever might be around. I guess I was afraid of missing something. She went to bed early, woke up for her classes on time. I didn't. I guess I'd have a degree now if I would have taken stride. We gradually stopped talking... I had other friends, and she was never around. She told me once she felt left out. Funny, I thought she had been jading me. She also told me once that she thought I was manipulative. We tried to make it work. I talk like she's an ex or something. We couldn't. We are currently not speaking and not on good terms.
Another notable is some one who I barely talk to now but still consider one of my best friends. When my roommate was gone on the weekends, this guy who also lived on our floor was my primary source of entertainment. He was older, so he would go to the older parties or the bars, I'd be doing keg parties or homework or other random dorkly things. He'd come home, and come to my room knowing I'd be up. Inevitably he'd eat my ramen noodles and tell my drunk stories. The next day he'd come back, we'd get food, and watch the Big Lebowski. I'd hear the drunk stories again, but with him being sober he'd either leave out things or be able to clear things up. My friendship with him was one of the most pure relationships I've had until this day. He'd listen to what I had to say, and he called my out on my B.S. Not too many people do that. I genuinely cared about him. I still do; he was my first adult friend.
It was actually him that got me writing this morning. He e-mailed me for the first time in weeks. Commented on my blog, wondering when I had time to write. We live in different states. He's dating some girl that I know nothing about except she's Polish. He's happy with his job and his current station in life. I am currently trying to leave my job. I have been over-qualified for the last two jobs I've applied for and underqualified for the one before that. I am antsy with my station in life; I need to be somewhere else. Reading his e-mail got me thinking of the lazy Big Lebowski Sundays, amazed at where time has not only gone, but taken us...
Anyhow, off to another job interview.

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