I've been in a really funky mood lately. Work has me bogged down, but for completely unreasonable reasons. Usually I try and be the unininvolved, and it's this stance that's pissing me off. Mostly, I guess, because others are not. I'm all about "Live and Let Live." And, hey, don't get me wrong ~ sometimes it's not easy. But it's ALWAYS easier than the alternative.
Right now, for instance. It's really difficult to step back with people. The biggest reason being because I am trying my damndest to tolerate someone at work right now, and everyone else is being blatantly childish about them. Fine, except don't ask my opinion. Because I agree with just about everything that anyone has to say, but I'm not about targetting people for being who they are, especially if I know that at the core I'm dealing with a good person. I will explain so that it makes sence, but if you're not in the mood to read a novella, just know that this is the jist of it :).
Here's my basic core deal when I meet someone: My antenna goes up and I make one judgement and one judgement only: IS THIS A GOOD PERSON?
So let me tell you, if I'm getting a NO vibe from you, then I generally won't even look your way. If I get a yes vibe, then cool. We'll go from there.
At work, I get the yes vibe from more people than not, but there's a strange thing going on in there. It's been refered to as "the office dynamic" by more than one person. And while I know that this exists, and it exists everywhere (not just in my beige little office), it's strange to have it called out and referred to like a living breathing thing. And it is.
Anyhow, there is a group of people that hang out. They don't talk about it, which is what is strange. As in, if they hear us, they will expect to be invited. NOT TRUE. I've been invited a few times, and a few times I've heard them talking about going out and not invite me (but on these occasions, it's all quiet and secretive, and they'd shit if they thought I heard them). This is strange to me because it's normal to have a group that you're friends with. No one expects a field trip everytime you go out. Well, I don't. I wouldn't feel bad asking someone I talk to more than someone else to come out in front of the other person. This is not 5th grade. I also wouldn't feel bad if you invited someone in a normal speaking tone if they were sitting next to me.
Ah, such is life.
So I've just gotten over this recently and decided that these are not all nutcases or bad people, perhaps something happened before I was employed with them to make these grown men and women behave like junior high kids. Whatever, I got over it.
Now a new girl comes in. She's loud and obnoxious, and she's nosey. Some people like her, some people can't stand her. I'll be the first person to tell you that I don't like people that remind me of myself, and she reminds me of how I used to be.
So I gave her a shot, as she gives me the Good Person vibe, and from talking to her I know that her life has not been a cake walk. And as I said, she is loud, obnoxious, nosey, and she annoys me. But being the kind of person that I try to be, I flow with it. I've put her into that cagegory of people that I like, but in "small doses."
What bothers me is that other people talk about her. I don't get involved ~ we're talking about my paycheck, my livelyhood. I don't get involved when people talk shit about me (and they do ~ that's right Rachel, I'm fully aware. I'm just a better person than you are). That doesn't mean I want to hear about it, though.
And you know how you have a conversation and it involves someone saying something to you and then they look at you, expecting you to agree and make a comment? I get a lot of that. Then I have to ignore the comment, the same way that I do when someone makes a "retard" or "palsy" comment of getsture.
So while I live it every day, I also deal with it. It just gets old, you know?
Also, there's a guy there that seems to fall victim to all of this too. When I first got there, he seemed to be a part of this clique. Now, he rarely speaks to any of these people. I've tried to ask a few different people, completely confidentially, what the deal was with him. Every single person backed up with there body language, said, "Well...., " and then proceeded to tell me something very nonspecific.
He, however, is one of those people that you see a soul in. As in, his eyes have a story in them, which means that I'm sure he's got a past....
I don't know. I guess I've just been around so many self-righteous people lately that they are pissing me of more than they normally would...